Sunday, March 15, 2009
k i now i have post already ....however ..
i have a sudden urge to blog again ...
and this time i wanna blog about my current feelings/thoughts ....
hmmm maybe abit of reflection la ...
although 2009 had just started , alot of things had happen ....
-dad filing for bankruptcy at the start of this yr,
-me being together with nick at the start of this yr and breaking up 2 months later ...
-people around me who come and go ,..
know alot of people around me who are now dead
-got to meet great new friends this yr (krys & andrew)
-mom having to be suspected for stomach cancer
heart has been filled with lots of mixed feeling ....
part of me wanna leave this place(cos of the sufferings that had happen)
part of me wanna stick to it and ride out the great storm ...
part of me felt betrayed by god ..
but part of me felt that this was a test from god ...
to test my faith towards him ....
wonder how much strength i have left ....
wonder how much i have left to carry on a fake smile/laughter in school
wonder how much my brain can take it ( all the stress in sch/band/family)
my mind is telling me to ride out the storm maybe everything will turn out fine ..
but my heart tells me otherwise ...
i think alot of people is despising me right now ...
alot of people might be thinking that i am pathetic to feel this way ...
however ...
its difficult ....
to even go through every single day ....
have to tackle new challenges even now and then ...
wonder when will the tranquility come .....
and peace to be upon me
lols leon really cheer me up ....
now toking to him right now ...
lolslols
he is toking about himself and the stupid band ...
lols
ok i shall go see channel 5
bye
Labels: if my heart breaks, It's gonna hurt so bad. you know i am strong but i cant take that